Nothing can help you to avoid being accountable for your own stuff like having a significant other to blame everything on. Getting them to change so it fits your plan for happiness can be the mother of all energy sucks.
Rather than take flight with the above plight, try first to: [A] “Accept” your partners action (bonus points for doing so without judgment) and [B, C] “Be Curious” about your own reactions instead. Sure enough, what they’re doing may fall well on the wrong side of awful, but the opportunity to understand you gets missed if you snap into habitual, patterned action.
“Accept” helps you take a necessary moment. “Be Curious” allows you to look inward when you’re most exposed. Adding this step before letting ‘em have it can help inform effective, meaningful and lasting change. Relationships help bring forward the parts of ourselves that still require some compassionate and enlightened futzing. Reveal, deal, heal, repeat…
Popularity: 60% [?]
Subscribe by RSS
Subscribe by Email
#1 by Loretta Joan Gooding on May 21, 2010 - 1:38 pm
Quote
I was just speaking to a friend about getting to the “root” or “source” of our actions. And how there can be many extensions to the main root. “Reveal, deal, heal, and repeat…” wraps up the end result of our conversation. “Revealing” the root, (when most exposed) leads to the source, (first lie to self) which in turn causes one to “deal” with the lie, (if one chooses) and inevitably leads to “healing.” One must “repeat” these steps everytime the root reveals yet another extension of itself. Ya might want to bring a machete. . . lOl. . . Reveal, deal, heal, repeat. . . I like it a lot!!! ;~)